


Temperature Scales

by Therockthatkilledcaesar



Category: Jurassic World Trilogy (Movies), ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Dinosaurs, Injury, Injury Recovery, M/M, Started As A Joke But Now I'm Sinking Deeper And Deeper Someone Help, Transformation, Universe Hop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-06-24 05:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15623253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Therockthatkilledcaesar/pseuds/Therockthatkilledcaesar
Summary: Owen gets a raptor, but it's not the one he missed so dearly.Diego gets his victory, but it's not the one he expected.





	1. No, Diego, No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I thought my other works were sin.

You try to discern your surroundings, but rain pours down in heavy, thick, drops, limiting your sight and blurring your sense of smell. The ground under your claws is soily, although now reduced to runny mud by the weather, and low ferns brush against your scales. You stagger against a tree and revert to human form, gauging the severity of the dripping gash strapping your midsection. You definitely won't be capable of any heavy movement until that heals up, and it looks like Silver Bullet’s nowhere to be seen.  
Actually, where on Earth has Valentine sent you this time? Or rather, which version of it? You'd been nowhere near a forest, and the train tracks you’d been fighting on have somehow disappeared. Is a universe possible so vastly altered at any point as to change the climate itself? Come to think of it, has Valentine ever demonstrated the ability to expel others from the main timeline? No. He would've sent you sooner if he could. Something else is at play here.  
Either way, whatever tactic your opponent is trying at, it’s working. Even after a few minutes of generating heat, the elements are taking it faster than you can warm up. You might freeze to death if you don't get to shelter soon, and changing into your cold-blooded form would be practically a death sentence. Instead, you pull your hat closer, your shirt tighter, and your head together to get out of this weather.  
In the distance, you see a faint orange light. That’s your ticket, you think. It’s either fire, or people, and you could use both right now. Making your way towards the glow, you press your entire forearm against your stomach to try and stop the bleeding.  
It doesn't much succeed, but you get to the light soon enough anyhow. A log cabin stands before you, inviting and firm.  
Without hesitation, you burst in through the door and begin sniffing around for the supplies you need. You're losing blood fast, permission from the inhabitants can wait. Since nobody seems to be here, your first goal is first aid. Surprisingly and fortunately, you don't need to find a lantern first because of the bright light bulbs in the ceiling. This is either some undisclosed scientific breakthrough, the work of the supernatural, or these people are wealthy enough to afford the expensive electric lighting. Ugh, you hate rich people.  
But It doesn't matter right now. You’ll probably need stitches, but the best you can find in the drawers is a roll of bandages and some metallic scissors, and anyway, you're not exactly in the condition to put them in yourself. Shivering slightly, you remove your wet top and apply pressure while you dress the injury with what you have. After that is the time to heat up, although the cabin is already significantly warmer than outside. Looking at the place, it seems pretty cozy, albeit a bit messy. Everything seems refined though, and there are tons of materials and objects you don't recognize. This is definitely some old banker's or lawyer's place who’s up in all the newest gear, and now you don't feel too bad about messing it up.  
The strange pieces of furniture are mostly made of metal, and box shaped in some capacity. You ignore them for the most part, because their function is a mystery to you, but a large metal grate that sticks out from the wall catches your attention as one that will prove effective in your goal of warmth regardless of activation. You curl up around it under a scavenged quilt, with only pants on, and subconsciously shift into a dinosaur once the threat of freezing to death is gone. You try to stay awake and alert, but the sudden comfort and your fatigue from an eventful day eventually lulls you into night's dream.


	2. Dino-Might HaHa Geddit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego heckin dies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly giving up on indentation rn, screw mobile.

A loud crash and muttered cursing wakes you. Drowsy and still a bit confused, you hop to your feet in a flash and hiss at where the noise came from. A man stands there, frozen in shock. You suddenly realize where you are, intruding in a stranger's home, and what you are, a dinosaur seemingly pulled from millions of years in the past in a freak time warp to tear him to shreds. The dude looks pretty scrawny, and you decide you might need his help getting back to civilization, so you stand still and give him time to pull himself together enough to slip back behind the door and bolt it.  
Strangely enough, he doesn't scramble away as fast as you expect. Instead, he cautiously reaches towards the knob, barely fast enough for your reptilian vision to detect. This guy knows something of your abilities, then. You have no idea how he does, but it seems like if the two of you clashed, that knowledge would be his only weapon, so you're not too worried.  
Once the door is closed and locked, you become human again. Muffled thuds sound from behind the wood, he’s probably barring it from the other side.  
You'll wait a bit to scare him, you decide. Make it a surprise. In the meantime, you eavesdrop on his frantic conversation.  
“Yeah, hey. I need you to get up here faster. Like. Right now.”  
It sounds like a telephone conversation, which is strange, because don't remember seeing any fixtures when you were looking around.   
“Yeah there's a huge blue raptor- No no no no no, not Blue the raptor. Just a blue raptor. He got in my house somehow- No! Like, the color blue! It's a different raptor, it's- Listen, just come up here. I don't know when he'll-”  
Sounds like your cue. You open the door casually, and he freezes again, turning around to stare at you. A huge pile of furniture topples towards you. Idiot didn't realize it opened inwards, you guess.   
“You know, you were moving just fast enough back there for me to see you. If I’d been a normal dinosaur, you'd be dead. And…” As you lean against the door frame, you gesture towards the broken furniture in front of you. “You know what I’d say about your barricade work.”  
The blood drains from his face. You grin at him, your full, wide, ear-to-ear grin, with all of the teeth and none of the pleasance.  
Then, out of panic, he punches you.  
Oof. You weren't expecting that. It's right in the stomach, too, and you already have an injury occupying that space. You double over in pain, and the raptor comes out. Your skin hardens and stretches out to support your larger frame. Your mouth lengthens and fills with teeth. A large, tapering tail thrashes out from your back. You snarl.  
He grabs a chair leg off the ground and lunges at you. You try to snatch it with your teeth, but you're mid-transformation, and you misjudge the distance. He lands a solid blow, and if it wasn't for your thickened skull you would've been knocked out. But now, you've lost track of him. You can't see anything but movement anymore, and he's probably remembered his earlier strategy, and your idiot past self, you realize, just managed to coach him on how he was doing it wrong. You sniff the air, trying to detect his location, but a voice yells behind you.  
“Hey!”  
A force bludgeons you in the same spot as earlier, and this time, it does the trick. Black emptiness smothers your vision, and your consciousness fades into void as you fall to the floor.


	3. Congratulations, You're Owen Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You become Owen. Owen is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS SO DUUUUUUMB

You think the world might be ending. Or you're hallucinating. Or something. You swear on your life you just saw a shirtless british dude turn into an oversized Utahraptor colored like it came straight from a Barney TV show. A Utahraptor you proceeded to batter unconscious with a chair.

You're still getting yourself accustomed to the idea that dinosaurs are out loose in the wild, but there's no way you can work yourself up to the idea of shapeshifting ones.

But here it is. The fact's sitting right in front of you, bright blue and beaten into neutralization.  
The worst part it that you have no idea what to do now. Do you try to tie it up? Or to patch its wounds? Do you just wait til Claire gets here? Maybe while you wait, whatever drugs you must’ve taken will wear off.  
In your uncertainty, you decide to examine the lizard instead. It looks like a standard Utah, except for the color and size deviations. It’s in pretty good shape, barring its head bruises and a nasty gash on its stomach, which almost makes you feel bad for hitting it there, but hey. If it's really as smart as it sounded, it's on him for scaring you like that. You come to wonder. Where did it come from? Would it eat you if it could? It had sounded pretty condescending when it talked. On the other hand, it had only become a dinosaur when you punched it. Maybe that was a bad idea in hindsight. Whatever. You feel like some kind of panic was justified. It shouldn't have been hanging around in your house in the first place! Why was it in your house? Why did it exist? 

You really just don't understand anything right now. Like an idiot, you edge your way around the thing and enter your house pretending like there isn't a Land Before Time character dying on your front porch. Looks like it messed the place up a fair bit. Drawers are open and ransacked all over, and bloodstains make trails around the carpet. A roll of bandages and pair of scissors lie on the floor carelessly, where you guess it must've used them to dress the wound. Lot of good that had done. That cut would need stitches at the very least.

Nearby, you find a pair of leather gloves, a turquoise-and-yellow patterned sweater and a similarly colored… helmet? You can tell it's a some kind of protective gear from the hard material and the straps, but you can't imagine any use of a helmet where the bold golden letters “DIO” bouncing around on top would ever be efficient. Strange dude’s gotta have strange clothes, you reason. The sweater isn't quite as weird as the hat, but you still can't imagine anyone wearing it casually. Whatever. You move on.

After investigating a bit, you're starting to piece together some small portion of what happened last night. There's no way you could ever identify who this guy is or where he came from from what you have, but last night he was injured somehow in this forest. He found your cabin, broke in, and treated himself with what he could find. Being fair, you probably would've done the same thing, regardless of whose cabin you found. Then, because it was raining and there was no civilization for miles, he stayed there and fell asleep. Then, this morning you came home, where he was sleeping, and surprised him. After that, you've got plenty idea of what happened. 

Soon, Claire arrives, with Zia Rodriguez and a whole team of animal control guys in tow. Now that dinosaurs are out there like regular animals now, you guess calling animal control is the logical choice. Within hours, you have the beast strapped to a table, sedated and newly stitched up. None of you are sure what to do with it now. The escapade with the mansion and the unleashing of dinosaurs on the world was so recent that laws on the matter of catch and release haven't gone through yet. Whether to put it down, put it in a reserve, or put it back in the mountains isn't not a decision to be taken lightly, and you’ve neglected to even tell anyone about the shapeshifting yet. It's not like you didn't trust them with the knowledge or anything, but after the phone call’s abrupt ending, which you're eternally grateful gave the impression of emergency enough to get Claire and her company up here without you finishing your explanation, there just weren't any opportunities to bring it up. At this point, you know they wouldn't believe you if you just came out with it out of the blue. You have to do something. You can't exactly let them kill a breathing, human, person thinking it's a beast, but you can't exactly mention the person part so long after the fact. Instead, you excuse yourself from the heated argument taking place and retreat to the area where it's being kept. Maybe you can have it reveal itself somehow. Maybe you can-

You stop dead in your tracks. The dinosaur isn't there. What were you thinking? There was no way those straps could hold it when it can change its shape at will. You start searching the room, trying figure out where he went, when you feel something cold and sharp press against your throat. A claw.

“I’ll kill you if you… You have to…”

His voice is sluggish, and he's obviously labored in his search for vocabulary. You guess that's what dinosaur sedatives do to people. Or to dinosaur people. You're not sure which part of him his bloodstream would be more like, or if his reaction to sedatives is a special case entirety.

“Hide… me. Don't tell them… I’m here”

He leans against you and presses his fingers against   
his scaly lips.

“Shhhh...”

His eyes are slightly glazed over, and you're almost positive you don't have to take his threat seriously in his condition, but you don't immediately call in reinforcements. You can't act rashly in this situation.

Unfortunately, you don't have time to come to a decision, because footsteps come from outside. At the doorway, they stop, just like you did.

“Where the hell is the dinosaur?”

It's Claire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Indentation sucks on this site and I give up.


	4. Refrigerator

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! But who knows when I'll update again?

You're breathing heavy, dreading any kind of discovery where you have to explain this guy. She comes closer and closer, still not where she can see the both of you, but it's inevitable.  
“Owen?!”  
There it is. The confrontation.   
“Did you see what happened?” Huh? Was she completely oblivious to the half-naked guy tranquilized out of his mind trying to threaten your life? You turn around to see his reaction, but he's suddenly not there. Scanning the room frantically, you spot a large reptilian whip swishing around from behind a cabinet. As surprisingly fast as he managed to hide while tripping on drugs meant for a beast five times his size, he’s seemingly incapable of the mental capacity right now to realize his tail’s in plain sight.   
“Owen?”  
Oh s***. She still hasn't seen him. For now, you play dumb.  
“Claire? Hey, did you guys already move the raptor?”  
“What? Of course not! I'm asking you where it went!”  
In response, you throw your hands up in defense.  
“It was gone when I got here! I thought you guys did something with it!”  
Her face gets that look on it, the really intense one she has when she's concentrating really hard. It's like that for a solid fifteen seconds, and then she looks up at you again.  
“I'm going to go get the others. Look around and see if you can find any clues to how it got out.”  
You cast your eyes nervously on the very, very, painfully visible clue right behind her.   
“Uh. Yeah. Got it. Clues.”  
She seems to trust your obviously distracted affirmative enough, so she hurries out the door, leaving you alone in the room with the psycho lizard man on drugs. You sigh, both in relief that he didn't get seen defying all odds, and in exasperation that you’ll now have to defy even more to get him out of here unnoticed and un-murderous.  
Heading to his impromptu hiding hole, you tap him on the shoulder.  
“Hey. Time to move, you fossilly f***. They're gonna find you if you stay here. Come on.”  
He snarls, but it's a kind of confused snarl with no real direction. He doesn't seem to register anything you're saying, but he doesn't seem like he's gonna go berserk on you, so that's a relief.  
“C’mon, man, don't make me have to deal with this. I might be totally jacked and awesome, but I can't carry a f***in’ dinosaur.”   
Well, maybe there are probably some dinosaurs you could carry, but he is definitely not one of them.  
He grumbles something unintelligible and falls backwards. Thankfully, you catch him just in time, but he's heavy. You prop him up on his feet using most of your strength, but he’ll need you to support his weight the whole trip, slowing you both down and increasing the likelihood of someone seeing you   
Before you set off, you hand him your jacket, which he feebly pulls on in a dangerous wobble. You're going to get some attention by dragging around the place a snarling, bedraggled dude that staggers like a drunk, but you're going to get even more if the guy is half naked  
Now, there's only one problem left, the biggest of all, and the one you don't know how to deal with. If there's any one aspect of this man that's going to draw looks if it goes unchecked, it's a bright blue and yellow patterned tail that stretches out almost as long as the guy is tall. It's kind of limp right now, but you’ve seen the way this thing can damage furniture, and it's definitely not an ideal trait for obscurity.  
“Hey, dude. Can you, uh, lose the tail, man? It kind of stands out.”   
He looks behind him, processing the extra appendage’s presence, and mutters what's almost a complete statement, with a subject and a verb and everything.  
“Tail is… Ughn.”  
If you had free hands, you would applaud him for his effort.  
Fortunately though, he seems to get the picture. You watch in fascination as the scaly whip slowly shrinks and recedes back into his clothes. You’ve seen him turn into a dinosaur once, but this is the first you’ve seen him shift back. It's still such a mystery to you. Where does all that mass go or come from? How do his senses and memories transition between forms? There's so much to figure out about this guy.  
But you can't figure out anything until he's fully awake and out of danger, so you start your way back to the cabin, the stranger shuffling along with you, and thankfully the curious glances of returning animal control workers are all the questions you get.   
You topple him onto your sofa with little resistance, both parties huffing as the weight is relieved from your shoulder. You almost think about tying him up, but it's pretty much a given there aren't any ropes in your house that can hold this guy for more than ten seconds, and you're pretty sure he won't get violent on you… yet, at least. Welcome back, death wish.   
He looks at you expectantly, slit pupils boring into you. He's waiting to see what you'll do next.  
Fine. Asking time. You don’t know how much you can get out of him while he’s like this, but there’s not much else to try doing. “First question.” You toss him the hat and sweater he'd left on the floor. “Who are you?”  
He grunts a curt “Diego.”   
Well, his name is a start. “I'll be more specific.” You see that he's struggling with the clothes and try to lend a hand, but he hisses and draws back. “What are you?”  
A slow mumble. “Jockey.”  
Great. You’re getting nowhere. Could he be the product of a new discovery in the field of genetics? A work of the supernatural? It doesn’t matter, all you really need to know is that his name is Diego and he rides f***ing horses for a living. You take a different course of action.  
“Hungry?” The fridge is meager in content as you open it, and a questionable smell wafts from some unidentifiable vegetable in the bottom drawer, but you gesture for him to take his pick regardless. Diego stumbles over to where you are, only to startle when he feels the wave of frigid air coming out.  
“Something wrong? Oh f***, please tell me you at least know what a refrigerator is.  
His eyes shifted, obviously racking his brain. “Rrrfrigi...dater”  
Dear lord.


End file.
